Do you know any one stupid enough to thank people for things they haven’t done yet? I hate this public signage today that thanks you, for you support, or not smoking, or for flushing. Flushing for Pete’s Sake! Hey! I’m an adult, and I know to flush after I take a piss! I don’t need a sign to remind me. Even so, it’s just a urinal. I’m busy paying attention to what’s going on. If I forgot to flush it makes little impact on the next person using the urinal. Also, I can think of more important things you should thank me for, like not leaving a puddle of piss all over the floor, or the wall, or the commode. Who are these guys who never learned to aim? Also, in the fashion of pre-thanking, I would like to thank maintenance for fixing the broken toilets and urinals and faucets and paper towel dispensers. Also I want to pre-thank you for finally fixing that leak in the roof that you so cleverly remedied by MacGyver-ing one of the urinals into a drain for by the clever use of plastic sheeting, garden hose, and duct tape (been there a year and it’s still a marvel to behold every time I visit the 3rd floor gents). In fact, reading your sign makes me not want to flush, so wow, reverse psychology finally worked on someone. The next one I loathe is the “Thank you for not smoking” signs posted all over campus. These just make me want to light up and then put out my cigarette on the sign itself. Not only are they ugly, and self-righteous, but they’re purposefully put in out if the way areas where smokers would normally (out of courtesy for non-smokers) go to have a cigarette. I should explain. The campus is very beautiful, and so people must smoke their cigarettes at least 20 ft away from any building or window. Never mind the fact that the A/C systems are so infected with mold and whatever else is living in there, from non-stop year-round usage (tropical island) that they smell rotten. It’s like a dirty dish sponge you just used to clean up a 2-day old cat pee! That’s ok, probably healthy even, just what your lungs were wanting. But should they ever smell smoke (I don’t know how anyone works in a rotten damp a/c office has a sense of smell left. I think they must smell it for just a moment every morning when first arrive. Honestly, it seems you’d have to be delusional after smelling that all week), well they might get the lung cancer. That right that’s the smell of CANCER! BOO! CANCER!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
The CANCER!
Arrrgggghhhhhhhhh! Not the CANCER!
The one and the same!
Any ways. This politeness has one really ugly mark on it as well. In Hawai`i thank-you is mahalo. And signs rarely ever say thank-you, they say, “mahalo! for…“ This rampant use of the Hawai`ian language for meaningfulness of inflection is so fake and dishonest and racist and no one addresses it because it’s being used for “politeness.” For example, for donating, or not using the other door, or just flushing, a sign will say” Aloha! Blah Blibity Blah! Blah blahbity and mahalo for your kokua! And when it’s on television, it makes you want throw up. (Kind of like when Country and Christian singers bend there knees and reach up to the sky while singing some very very powerful and meaningful line. I mean are they supposed to be “weak in the knees” for Jesus Christ or something, because I thought that was a sin. You know they do never pick a 30s-ish, ugly, middle-eastern actor to play the big JC in movies, just the “young and virile cute-anglos” thank you very much. I mean mahalo nui loa.) Maybe it’s just me. But I feel this bizarre usage of indigenous language to signify emotional sincerity by people who aren’t Hawai`ian (I’m haole.) or speak Hawai`ian. It’s not only stupid, but a little insulting. Imagine if someone, who normally spoke any other language, spoke yours just to evoke glib uses of sincerity. It would be weird. It is weird. So everyone just stop it. I’m NOT calling for an end to common courtesy, and manners, for I have very little respect for those who have none. Only, let’s get “sorry” and “thank you” back to being a meaningful exchange rather than a mechanical absurdity. We have to write letters today, because it’s not enough just to say “thank you” in person anymore. Maybe it’s a conspiracy of postal service… maybe not. Cheers!
-Shakabusatsu
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