Mac vs. PC ads... spoofed!

I found these spoofs on YouTube.com and afew are absolutely hilarious! Check em out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLhKkvyXw-Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG2uz2apprw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZSr89b4EoA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PDKWg9FclU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nUeZycfCG0

Enjoy and Cheers!

Coffee with Baileys and the bad Apple vs. PC ads...

These ads make the Apple/Macintosh company and Mac users seem annoyingly smug about themselves. Which I know quite a few Mac users and they’re not all that smug, a few are. Having a Mac does not make you cool.

These ads are comparing apples and oranges in they're comparing a computer brand (Mac) against a computer architecture (PC) instead of Mac vs. Dell or something much more comparable.

To add to the nonsense Macs are mostly the same architecture as PCs are now. You can now use Power Macs as PCs if you want, because there is essentially very little difference in the hardware components. They both now are using the same processors, same memory, same drives (DVD, HDD), and same buses (IEEE-1394, USB, etc). So these whole Macs vs. PC arguments are totally fatuous and actually incorrect. Because…

Macs are now PCs. Yes I know there are historical differences between those to, but they no longer exist. All the new Macs are just a brand of PCs. Sorry Mac users (the smug ones only), in the end you lost your little “Macs are so much better” battle, because your company went to the other side. Oh yes! Only they don’t want you to think them as PCs… I wonder why?

Actually, You could buy a cheaper and likely more powerful desktop or laptop (it won’t be as pretty I agree), install a free (a four letter word to Apple and MS) Linux based version of Mac’s OSX or Tiger or whatever, and run all your Mac software or PC or Linux software on it, because they are all the same hardware.

Don’t confuse “Windows” with “PC”. There are two different things. Actually the whole, “I come ready to make movies and web pages” statement is so much bullshit. Windows actually came up with that idea with the dreaded Windows Millennium Edition. Macs used to come with NOTHING but Quicktime and a text editor and calculator. So the whole “I come with software” BS is something they wised up to, not something they started. And let’s be real. They don’t come with Professional i.e. quality software like, Photoshop or Aperture or Premiere or Avid or Final Cut, Macromedia studio, etc, etc. No computer does. They come with “iDink” and “iCrap” and “iReally am never going to use this much without Apple taking even more of my money”

As per the whole viruses and malicious software, well that’s really a matter of what you call malicious. Like, spyware that tracks all your moves and purchases vs. your service provider tracking your moves and purchase (anonymously of course) and forcing you to use DRM software. If you don’t know, DRM stands for evil media corporation greed. And since Macs are now PCs viruses are a matter of a code rather than hardware, and the more Mac users... well Mac, you keep telling yourself your "safer". Sure you are.

Lastly they use up bandwidth, and make pages load slower, although all web ad movies are guilty of that. And I could go on and on but I'm stopping now to make breakfast. Cheers!

The story of the beached beer

So the other day wife and I went swimming at Kailua Beach Park. After we swam for about five 45 minutes I wanted to go get the fins and mask to go and just look at the bottom and see if there were any fish or fifty dollar bills swimming around the sandy bottom. After going out a ways and seeing not much really, I was swimming back along the bottom and swaying back and forth was an unopened bottle. Beer? Yes I rescued an unopened bottle of Heineken from the sea. I brought it back to wife (still in the water) and our conversation went something like this.
“Look what I found.”
“Is it unopened? It looks like some leaked out.”
“No, Yeah. I think. I mean it seems to missing some liquid but I think it’s just the carbonation separated from the rest of the beer.”
“You’re not keeping it are you?”
“I can’t just throw it back out into the ocean? I’ll have to throw it away or something.”
“I think there a trash can up there.”
“I don’t see one.”
“It’s behind the lady in red. "
“What lady in red?”
“That one over there.”
“I think I’m going to keep it. It’ll make a good blog.” Wife rolls her eyes (assumed) after I turn away and take the beer up to the beach, wrap it in a towel, place it under our stuff and head back into the water to rejoin wife. We swim some more, go home, refrigerate beer. A few days pass.

So today I have documented beer, with pictures and am going to taste it.

Initial observations: 12 oz. bottle of Heineken brand beer found submerged and unopened in Kailua beach park about 20 yards offshore. Front label is still intact, back label is completely missing. The cap appears to be intact although looks faded and showing signs of corrosion on edges. Contents appear to be missing about 1.0 to 1.5 oz from bottle, even though bottle and cap appears intact.

Theories: As to the discrepancy in front and back labels this could be do to the lack of adhesive applied to one side of bottle. Also back label might have already been peeling or peeled by human interaction before being lost. Pertaining to the apparent loss of contents, it is likely the bottle has been shaken in mild (Kailua beach not known for waves) but non-stop manner by the waves. This has led to the separation of the carbon dioxide gas initially dissolved into the liquid through the process of fermentation. How did the beer get to this location? After some thought I think it might be one of two scenarios. Some person kayaking or canoeing on their way out to the ocean caught some waves or winds and had a rough time of getting away from the shore. Maybe they went for a roll, and a bottle or two fell out of the bag or vessel it was in, the bottle than slowly sank to the bottom and than slowly worked it’s way northwest up the beach. Or someone at the public beach park in a hurry to get rid of their alcohol (a minor perhaps) quickly dispensed of it in the ocean, and alas never recovered it. As to age of the beer, I don’t it it’s over a year, probably a few weeks to a few months, although I have no evidence of a stamp or lot number to check it by.

Observations: After photographing the beer, I opened it. There was a good bit of bright orange rust deposited on the edges of the bottle where the cap had been. I cleaned this rust off with a dishtowel. I then proceeded to sanitize the inner and outer rim of the bottle open in with 80 proof vodka. It has little taste is relatively non-toxic and is an effective antiseptic. I than poured the beer into glass to inspect it. It appeared just like beer in color although there was no head of foam from the pour, some effervescence however is present. It smelled like beer I did not smell any briny smell of the ocean which very detectable on the bottle cap and label of the bottle. Lastly the beer tasted just like a flat beer. It had the signature taste of the Heineken brand, although this beer has not been kept in optimal conditions, and the taste has been altered by the process. I drank about five more sips as the beer warmed from fridge to about 10 degrees below room temperature. As the beer warmed a metallic tinge started to become very apparent. The corrosion of the bottle cap while intact did seep into the product. The inner cap was plastic lined and I saw no sediment in the beer I think the rust must have just seeped enough to be detectable. This also might have been magnified by the addition to a piece of lime to the beer (since I am not a fan of Heineken or flat beer). The citric acid probably reacted with the few iron or tin atoms and resulted in a metallic taste becoming every more present.

Conclusions: The carbonation had dissolved out of the beer. I was right. I drank about 2 oz. all together and poured the rest out as this beer was science not pleasure (I assure you). As for wife, she thinks I’m stupid for drinking the beer at all. I could do some experiments to try and date the bottle. I could tie some beers to a buoy’s anchor chain and see how long it rusts or lasts in the ocean, but that would be tricky but possibly worthwhile. Let me know if I should investigate further. If anyone has some further experiments or theories or similar stories please comment or email me. Cheers!

Rampant courtesy and politeness with splash of fresh fruit, tequila and coconut rum

Do you know any one stupid enough to thank people for things they haven’t done yet? I hate this public signage today that thanks you, for you support, or not smoking, or for flushing. Flushing for Pete’s Sake! Hey! I’m an adult, and I know to flush after I take a piss! I don’t need a sign to remind me. Even so, it’s just a urinal. I’m busy paying attention to what’s going on. If I forgot to flush it makes little impact on the next person using the urinal. Also, I can think of more important things you should thank me for, like not leaving a puddle of piss all over the floor, or the wall, or the commode. Who are these guys who never learned to aim? Also, in the fashion of pre-thanking, I would like to thank maintenance for fixing the broken toilets and urinals and faucets and paper towel dispensers. Also I want to pre-thank you for finally fixing that leak in the roof that you so cleverly remedied by MacGyver-ing one of the urinals into a drain for by the clever use of plastic sheeting, garden hose, and duct tape (been there a year and it’s still a marvel to behold every time I visit the 3^rd floor gents). In fact, reading your sign makes me not want to flush, so wow, reverse psychology finally worked on someone. The next one I loathe is the “Thank you for not smoking” signs posted all over campus. These just make me want to light up and then put out my cigarette on the sign itself. Not only are they ugly, and self-righteous, but they’re purposefully put in out if the way areas where smokers would normally (out of courtesy for non-smokers) go to have a cigarette. I should explain. The campus is very beautiful, and so people must smoke their cigarettes at least 20 ft away from any building or window. Never mind the fact that the A/C systems are so infected with mold and whatever else is living in there, from non-stop year-round usage (tropical island) that they smell rotten. It’s like a dirty dish sponge you just used to clean up a 2-day old cat pee! That’s ok, probably healthy even, just what your lungs were wanting. But should they ever smell smoke (I don’t know how anyone works in a rotten damp a/c office has a sense of smell left. I think they must smell it for just a moment every morning when first arrive. Honestly, it seems you’d have to be delusional after smelling that all week), well they might get the lung cancer. That right that’s the smell of CANCER! BOO! CANCER!

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
The CANCER!
Arrrgggghhhhhhhhh! Not the CANCER!
The one and the same!

Any ways. This politeness has one really ugly mark on it as well. In Hawai`i thank-you is mahalo. And signs rarely ever say thank-you, they say, “mahalo! for…“ This rampant use of the Hawai`ian language for meaningfulness of inflection is so fake and dishonest and racist and no one addresses it because it’s being used for “politeness.” For example, for donating, or not using the other door, or just flushing, a sign will say” Aloha! Blah Blibity Blah! Blah blahbity and mahalo for your kokua! And when it’s on television, it makes you want throw up. (Kind of like when Country and Christian singers bend there knees and reach up to the sky while singing some very very powerful and meaningful line. I mean are they supposed to be “weak in the knees” for Jesus Christ or something, because I thought that was a sin. You know they do never pick a 30s-ish, ugly, middle-eastern actor to play the big JC in movies, just the “young and virile cute-anglos” thank you very much. I mean mahalo nui loa.) Maybe it’s just me. But I feel this bizarre usage of indigenous language to signify emotional sincerity by people who aren’t Hawai`ian (I’m haole.) or speak Hawai`ian. It’s not only stupid, but a little insulting. Imagine if someone, who normally spoke any other language, spoke yours just to evoke glib uses of sincerity. It would be weird. It is weird. So everyone just stop it. I’m NOT calling for an end to common courtesy, and manners, for I have very little respect for those who have none. Only, let’s get “sorry” and “thank you” back to being a meaningful exchange rather than a mechanical absurdity. We have to write letters today, because it’s not enough just to say “thank you” in person anymore. Maybe it’s a conspiracy of postal service… maybe not. Cheers!

-Shakabusatsu

Tequila and Redbull Continued...

Baudrillard’s, theories of orders of simulacra, and simulacrum, are very important in that they logically point out how reality becomes separated from the past by rendering the meanings responsible and necessary for contextually connecting a phenomena with its history, entirely pointless. It doesn’t really matter if it takes 2 or 32 orders of simulation to sever the bonds between reason and observable effects, we’ve been there, and we need to be careful in how we treat reality, in all out philosophizing. Our evolution of thinking has come very far, very fast; let’s make sure we’re not lost, before we go to much further…

Also, I have something else I was just thinking while staring at the horizon. I think it has been shown it’s a finite world we live in. So, we are eventually going to run out of space and resources. So let’s start acting and talking like its really going to happen. Cheers!

-Shakabusatsu